The past three years have been pretty much a tornado plus a shipwreck mashed into one with a dash of furry pets. The best friend has also come down with a bad case of leukemia and my heart pines for her recovery day and night.
I also realised, it was more tiring trying to be that dependable adult society encourages you to be.
Beneath the pile of bills, anti aging creams and trying to iron out endowment options for retirement, you tend to realise you have lost something along the way.
And it’s not a bunch of keys or money this time.. What you have lost is your identity.
Being in a long term relationship put some pressure on the marriage aspect of things.. With property prices on the rise and age not being on your side, the BTO procedures soon became chains that bound you to your spouse at the promise of a roof over your heads for 99 years.
And I realised, looking forward to that became more important than if the relationship was headed for the pits.
So it didn’t work out to the ideal scenario in my case. And I decided to scratch that idea some time back in hopes of finding someone deemed as “dependable” with a “direction in life”.
Little did I know that hard mode was activated.
Thinking of leading life for myself, excavating bank accounts later I took a trip to Japan with 3 friends.
As for the drama, I’ll probably elaborate that in another post.
I figured I wanted to live life for myself after so long and try to stop living up to the expectations of others. With much determination right there, I came back to Singapore like a freshly hatched Phoenix from its egg.
Society does change your expectations eventually, as you slowly gather up samples towards what the “ideal” life is like. Someday I hope, I’ll find an answer out of this sticky situation.
And hey, I do miss the old me.